Friday 3 April 2009

does god exist & if so, why would he allow this to happen


(names changed to protect identity)

At times like this I wonder - does God exist & if he does how can he do this?

It is 10.30pm & I am on a night watch round in Calcutta.

We walk down New Market amongst the homeless families living on the streets & are greeted so warmly by the children who recognize us from our previous trips when we taught them at the one of the schools VITAL funds.

They love having their photos taken & are full of smiles & joy. Little 12 year old Puja grabs my hand & leads me to her mother who is cooking dinner on the sidewalk.

Her 3 younger brothers & sisters join us with glee. Puja shows me her flattened cardboard box she calls her bed & asks me to take photos of her in her pretty sari.

Like all little girls she loves to dress up. I promise her I will come to school tomorrow & she gives me a hug goodbye.

We return to the van & are solemnly told that Puja is forced by her father in to the sex trade. She has not even reached puberty.

She was brought to the Hope’s girls home but her mother begged for her return as her husband was beating her until she brought the breadwinner of the family back.

I am saddened by the news but when we reach Sealdah railway station, one of the busiest railway stations in India, more sadness await.

We see a mother & toddler asleep on the ground under a blanket when a 13 year old boy approaches us with a swagger & glazed eyes.

He is obviously a solvent abuser as we do not smell alcohol.

We notice self- inflicted scars on the inside of his forearm & he shows us the swelling on his hand from where the police had beaten him today.

He tells us the police are getting stricter & the two years he had been living here on his own is worse than hell.

He asks to be rescued but we cannot do so immediately. The boy starts to sob, it was so pitiful that I couldn’t hold back the tears either.

People started to gather around us asking why the boy & I were crying! Our NGO partners we work with eventually gave in & called a rehab centre that agreed to accept him.

Normally one would monitor the situation over the next few days in case the boy’s parents were nearby & saw us take the boy.

We could be accused of kidnapping & lose our licence to operate as an NGO.

At least Ganesh will have a happy ending, as Hope will take him into the boy’s home after he recovers from his addiction.

The next day when I arrive at school word had obviously spread that we were arriving. There were 26 children (doubled in size within a year when we started this project) just finishing their hot lunch, also provided by VITAL.

It is extremely hot & the fan above gave little relief. I was dripping with perspiration but the atmosphere inside was highly charged as the children’s ages ranged from 4 to 14 years.

Puja is forbidden by her father to attend our school but she sneaks in when she can. She & her friend Sanju, who had recognized us a few days earlier whilst on our walkabouts, ran up to me first to give me huge bear hugs before all the children ran out screaming with joy.

The younger children were dirty (remember they live on the streets) & my light beige trousers were the wrong choice that morning as they climbed all over me.

All of a sudden Puja’s 6 year old tiny brother starts crying. She defends him by yelling at one of the older boys who then hits her hard across her head & she starts crying.

The two teachers try to control the class but these boys seem out of place here lashing out with such force that has obviously been the way they are treated outside of school.

I try to comfort Puja but it’s wild in there. I ask the teacher to tell the children that if they don’t behave I will leave & take my gifts of tshirts, pencil boxes & tennis balls with me.

They finally quieten down & show me their work & we distribute the gifts.

I had been in India for 4 weeks & was due to leave the next day.

With a heavy heart full of sadness I fly out, with eyes tired & red from so much crying.

It will take me weeks to recover from such an emotionally draining roller coaster of emotions but I love these children & will return.